on sexuality and sex
I am not a slut, i just don't repress my sexuality. I am a self-proclaimed slut. t’s a beautiful word and we of this species are proud to be & out to see. I have spent a long time learning to love & appreciate my sexuality for everything that it is from being a sexpert for a friend or talking kinks with my roommate or telling that one story about how I was trying to show some friends how to put on a female condom but needed a cucumber to do it just to make someone else feel less weird about something they did. I literally am not ashamed of anything I’ve done. Or tell you things about myself & for me, that’s a part of it. Being so open is who I am and my confidence benefits from my sexuality directly.
Film photos by Ayla Maisey
I think my favorite part about sex is intimacy. When you have sex you get to know someone in a new way; it explodes the level of relationship instantly. And it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is: friends, lovers, acquaintances, even right after your first hello, sex connects people. Literally. We can’t avoid that & pretend we don’t feel differently (better or worse or neutral) after having sex. People change us, they add to our being and don’t sit here and tell me you don’t still talk about that one time you and so & so were getting weird and then they licked your teeth on accident. And then on purpose. Don’t lie to mo, don’t do that.
Sexuality is so fluent and so vivid and so weird. The kink possibilities are endless, really, there is always something new and I love learning about them. One thing that bothers me is that people don’t feel normal. Things they like, they think they’re supposed to be ashamed of and they try to hide those things and in doing so suppress their natural desires and impulses. This really fucks people up. Think about if you wanted french fries and you kept telling yourself no and denying yourself those fries until three weeks later you over order and eat enough to feed you, your mother and your mother’s mother and then you feel like a greasy sack of oil. It’s not cute. So why do the same with sex? Why hide who you are from other people and feel like you can’t be yourself?
Kinks are normal! And they’re fun! Exploring sex in a healthy way is fun and that requires good partners and like minded individuals (we love groups;) who want to do those things with you. I hear about people, friends, having sexual experiences where the other person made them feel ashamed for being into feet or having a daddy kink or just wanting to be naked. It’s not cool and you’re not cool, that just makes you an asshole.
“Sexuality is so fluent and so vivid and so weird.”
Being sexual is natural, being sexual is natural, BEING SEXUAL IS NATURAL! I promise. And I know it can be hard to find your community and hard to be this person when you feel like those around you won’t support you. But you do have a community. And it’s open to everyone, all of those who want to have loud sex so they know their neighbor knows or who want to have a private sex talk and discuss their cucumber fetish. The community is not here to judge. You can and will find like minded people who want to listen and want to communicate with you. This is apart of sex, this is apart of the intimacy. You connect with people and share ideas and stories and you become friends, acquaintances, lovers maybe and you grow. That’s the beauty of intimacy, the growth.
In the modern world, there can be a great divide between openly sexual people and those who are very private. And that’s ok! To each their own, I respect you. What I will not tolerate is judging. My number one rule is NO Judgements. Let people breathe in their own space and be who they love to be as they be it. Shout your orgasm out your window or look over your shoulders both ways real fast and get whiplash just to look back and whisper the word sex ya know, do you boo.
Another note: exploring is healthy! and trying new things is healthy! and not liking things you thought you would like is healthy! being openly and proudly and loudly out about your sexuality and your sex life- absolutely healthy.
thanks, come again soon (ha)
This post can be found originally on Instagram accompanied by photos from the same collection by Ayla Maisey.
Ayla Maisey is a writer and fine arts photographer residing in Chicago, IL. She mostly shoots digital but loves medium format film and her cat, Jack. You can find Ayla on her web page at aylamaisey.com or on Instagram @ayla.rm